[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Hell's Portals' LiveJournal:
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|Saturday, February 24th, 2007|
|Monday, February 20th, 2006|
Double Trouble on London Bridge.
With typical British class-consciousness, visitors may enter hell through a door that reflects their social status. Glitterati, literati, kings, princes, and counts may proceed up the stairs to the while hoi polloi slink in the right.
Mind your head if you enter through the right hand door.
|Sunday, January 8th, 2006|
|Friday, November 11th, 2005|
Entrance picture is: http://www.livejournal.com/community/urban_decay/1525099.html
Booreat smells of catsup. Booreat bleeds steak sauce. The stone seems warm an inch off contact, but those who heed the pulsing temptation Booreat emits will be quickfrozen by a touch of its walls.
Seasoned executives of restaurant chains come to worship here. They bring layers of darkly sacramental onions as offerings for the reclusive Demon Theibal, the ones from the "no onion" hamburgers, sandwiches and steaks.
Enter through the door and the way quickly changes from stone to a hundred food fall through galvanized ductwork, leading to the hood over the canola oil frying vat in which Thiebal lounges.
|Monday, September 5th, 2005|
|Wednesday, August 31st, 2005|
|Friday, August 26th, 2005|
Door descriptions posted in Urban Decay
Over the past days I have written some descriptions in comments for Urban Decay pictures of doors. Unfortunately the photographers don't seem to want to play in this sandbox, but in case you want another couple entrances to read, here are the links:Kfenup Nigatit Sharshly
Some people are very visual, and don't really get text, or see why their picture might be enhanced by a story made up about it. It's understandable. I never seem to get positive or negative feedback about my fanciful comments, so I guess I am not making too much of a pest out of myself.
And they were some tasty doors :)
Edit: I just did another: Phosmanc
It seemed like he was asking, but I am not sure. I didn't want to disapoint in any case if I had it in me to write one.
|Thursday, August 11th, 2005|
Artsy portal to hell?
I saw two of these in the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden
this weekend. I though they totally looked like a Portal to Hell!
I stumbled across this community a couple months ago and I lost the link to there. I spend a long time trying to find it. Current Mood: amused
|Saturday, July 16th, 2005|
Sprouting from the center of the earth, Cremainulas
open their churly maws until the angels find them and beat them back down to hell with the war hammers of God. Much like the flower of the Rafflesia arnoldii
, they lure in their prey with the scent of extra spicy Slim Jim's. The fiendish red peppercorns that lace the bait then stun the unwary victims who are then slowly sucked down through the viscous plant goo to the world below.
|Saturday, July 9th, 2005|
El Cerrito, CaliforniaQtacla's
passage to hell is lined with bolts and bins of fabric, gleaned from its victims as they were tempted down its slippery slope to hell. The deamon Jormancia
holds reign over this entrance. She especially favors purples and blues, and any combinations/patterns that remind her of wounds, puss and fatal disease states.Jormancia
also has a thriving used industrial sewing machine business and a large stock of free form quilting heads and discontinued knitting machines (for which parts are not available). Workshops are held evenings, Thursday through Saturday.
|Friday, July 8th, 2005|
If you are yellow, digital, pie-shaped and like to blip around mazes eating dots, your Midway soul is in great peril here. Hovering over the lintel of Pakk is a dread threat, whether you have one, two or even three lives left. (Research has discovered his name is "ColdK" and he likes to write in those bubble letters so beloved of 11-year-old girls.)
But wait, the ghost surmounting the entrance is gray. You've stunned it. Eat its ass, then get those floating cherries.Pakk has sister portals at Mizpakk and Bibipakk.
|Thursday, June 30th, 2005|
"if you go out in the woods today you'll get a big surprise..."
proving that even the plumbing (or perhaps especially
the plumbing) in the nether regions is torturous and labyrinthine...the stovepipe from hell's kitchen (which, as everyone knows, is in new york) has an exhaust vent cleverly disguised as a hollow, burned-out log in indianapolis, indiana.
just don't ask about hell's u-bend.
|Wednesday, June 29th, 2005|
Fluud, the seemingly innocuous water portal to hell
with great horror I have discovered a portal in my own backyard: Jacksonville, Florida.
Fluud lures the unwary with its blue naivete and spreading fern. It seems to be merely a swimming pool, but a seasoned observer of undead evil will note the cruelly shining silver rack in the foreground, the sinuous, esophageal body of an infernal serpent coiling just below it. Also the unmistakable yellow visage of horror in the right corner.
NB: Souls of the damned are represented by numerous quaking orbs. Note large orb to viewer's left of the fern. In life it was someone who just took out a home equity loan to build a pool in what devolved into an early Paleozoic swamp. Only the lords of hell can say if the orb is more tortured by damnation than it was by maintaining a pool. The small orbs could be the naked, quailing souls of friends who showed up for a pool party, only to be greeted by this oozing monstrosity. Speaking of the lords of hell, researchers believe the duck-image to be the camera's shocked representation of the Antichrist, in the same way TBS will reproduce "motherfucker" as "cornshucker." No one is fooled! The Father of Lies floats there, bloated with chlorine tablets!
Our brave researcher captured a close up of the entrance itself.
The fern's shape is proof positive that the devil and Sideshow Bob's hair are one and the same. Note how the orb is fading; even hell must end. If only you and I could fade rather than deal with our insurance companies.
A redeemed soul crawling from the hydrogen-oxide pit? Or a new plague unleashed upon the world...
Emissions: Steady streams of demonic water that damage your foundation in a way that your homeowner's declines to cover.
|Tuesday, June 28th, 2005|
Emeryville, CA USA
Sorry about the chain link, but I couldn't get the whole shot up close. Someone really talented could probably magick it away.
|Monday, June 27th, 2005|
No one knows
People don't tend to think of farms as places where otherworldly things happen. They don't see them as the sight of all the horror of Dante's beasts unleashed. farms are peaceful places tended by salt-of-the-earth types- never did anything wrong, never broke the law. But that's exactly why farms are used so often. Doorways in cities are so often noticed, and when the humans notice, the angels move in. When a door is established in a farm building, no one sees. No one knows. Not even the Angels. Current Mood: cold
one of the stables where the giant three-headed hound of hell, cerberus, is kept, this example has fallen into disrepair. the triple opening (one for each head) is clearly visible, but the outbuildings and food pen are sadly decayed.
noblesville, indiana, usa
Fort Monroe, Hampton, Virginia
is a long standing research and development site for Satan
specializing in sports. Early on (soon after the Eden Fruit Riot
) the demons in charge were responsible for coming up with the basic games themselves--carved sticks, dice, dominoes, early polo with human heads as balls, that sort of thing. Soon though, the focus changed to development around enhancements to the sports experience.Moutrep
is especially known for the discovery and refinement of the coach
concept. Currently it remains quite active with separate, but balanced, development teams making improvements to manager
facets of the sports experience.
Dendrranum: East side of Avenida Menendez south of the Bridge of Lions, St. Augustine, Florida
One of the US's oldest portals into Hell is located quite unsurprisingly in that nation's oldest continuously inhabited city: St. Augustine.
It is frequented by vegitation demons who will cruelly make your lawn grow at a Jurassic pace that week you just can't find time to mow it. But the week you've nervously invited the inlaws to a carefuly choreographed Great Gatsby lawn party, expect not only lawn-jaundicing blight but actual sulferous sinkholes to appear in your carefully manicured and Chemlawned greensward. Subsuming the non-refundable staffed bar, of course --not your mother-in-law.
NB. Demons have coopted the early religious sentiment of the Spanish town and placed a large cross on the entrance to lure the pious and unsuspecting. MIL is neither, but she does heave her leviathan presence duly into church Sundays. Hint hint hint, denizens of the underworld!EDIT:
Apparently I can't get a photo to display from yahoo photos. here's
Dendrranum --anyone have tips on a photo host?DOUBLE EDIT:
My old computer-illiterate @$$ can't get flickr to work either. Stand by to stand by with the elderly lady, folks, I will figure it out sometime. Then you may behold DENDRRANUM in all its hellish flora.THIRD TIME PAYS FOR ALL --HERE IT IS!