One of the US's oldest portals into Hell is located quite unsurprisingly in that nation's oldest continuously inhabited city: St. Augustine.
It is frequented by vegitation demons who will cruelly make your lawn grow at a Jurassic pace that week you just can't find time to mow it. But the week you've nervously invited the inlaws to a carefuly choreographed Great Gatsby lawn party, expect not only lawn-jaundicing blight but actual sulferous sinkholes to appear in your carefully manicured and Chemlawned greensward. Subsuming the non-refundable staffed bar, of course --not your mother-in-law.
NB. Demons have coopted the early religious sentiment of the Spanish town and placed a large cross on the entrance to lure the pious and unsuspecting. MIL is neither, but she does heave her leviathan presence duly into church Sundays. Hint hint hint, denizens of the underworld!
EDIT: Apparently I can't get a photo to display from yahoo photos. here's Dendrranum --anyone have tips on a photo host?
DOUBLE EDIT: My old computer-illiterate @$$ can't get flickr to work either. Stand by to stand by with the elderly lady, folks, I will figure it out sometime. Then you may behold DENDRRANUM in all its hellish flora.
THIRD TIME PAYS FOR ALL --HERE IT IS!